Had a heart-to-heart chat with a colleague today, and it brought back a memory I rarely speak of.
Back then, I had just my degree. Hopeful, ambitious, full of plans. At the same time, I found myself in a relationship with someone whose highest qualification was SPM. On paper, education shouldn't matter when hearts are involved, right?
But the reality? It was tough.
I remember how I often had to pause and take a deep breath before speaking. Carefully choosing my words, trying to make sure he wouldn’t feel left out or overwhelmed. Eventually, he picked up on it and asked, “Are you mad at me?”
I wasn’t mad at him. Deep down, I was upset with myself. It wasn’t his fault that our mindsets didn’t align. It was my fault for ignoring that difference and thinking it wouldn’t matter.
Thankfully, we parted on good terms. No drama. No bitterness.
But that experience taught me something I’ll always carry with me. Why, in Islam, the concept of sekufu (compatibility or being on the same level) is emphasized in relationships and marriage. It’s not about status or ego. It’s about mutual understanding, communication, and ease of growth together.
We all want peace in our partnerships, and sometimes, being on the same wavelength. Intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. It is the foundation of that peace.
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